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Tinker Barber Soldier Spy

plus minus 48 degrees wobble

Monday, February 08, 2010

the case for Osama bin Laden not targeting Singapore

Singapore just celebrated 40 years as a nation. Its re-appointed President (unless you consider a 3-vote electoral process as a walkover), S R Nathan, is 80 years old. Nathan is an ex-spy. Without delving into his resume, much of which would be state secret anyway, and just going by the Presidential Electoral Committee granting him the only Certificate of Eligibility to run for President, we can assume Nathan was once an ex-spy chief, probably more likely than not, the one that set up the local spy agency.
What has Nathan got to do with Osama bin Laden not targeting Singapore, you might ask? Well, the current spy chief of the local spy agency and his lieutenants, more likely than not, were probably former Nathan henchmen. If you have read the book ‘To Catch a Tartar’ by Francis Seow, which is as much a lesson in the English language as it is an insight into the modus operandi of the local spy agency, you may realize Nathan and his henchmen may have been valued more for their ‘bouncer’ and ‘rough-neck’ qualities than their diplomatic skill sets and cranial abilities. Brains and brawn do not usually a good mixture or compound make.
Again, you might ask: What has Nathan got to do with Osama bin Laden not targeting Singapore? It has to do with the marginalization of ‘small-size’ Singapore by its lesser developed but resource rich neighbors, Singapore Telecom’s monopoly over the island’s land communication lines, and the decision not to allow the use of power-line communication technology as an alternative cheap means of telecommunicating in Singapore (you may want to look at the rest of this blog for background knowledge).
Yet again, you might ask in frustration: What has Nathan got to do with Osama bin Laden not fucking targeting Singapore? Well, if you have been following the exploits of Osama bin Laden, and his organization, Al-Qaeda, you may have realized Osama relish in challenging intelligence agencies of the West in ‘cat and mouse’ and mind games. He is the proverbial slippery fish that has yet to show up in the Western intelligence agencies’ draught nets despite a tempting price on his head. I do not feel he will find any spy games involving the former henchmen of Nathan much of a challenge. Osama, more likely than not, despise walkovers.
Is the Singapore spy agency such a no-brainer in the eyes of Osama bin Laden? In my view, YES. In the past 10 years, I have increasingly begun to suspect that I am being monitored. For somebody who graduated from the Institute of Mental Health not once, but twice, you may say, well, it is something to be expected, this guy is nuts. Be brave, read on, it is not far to the end of the article, and I will even let you view most of my educational certificates (at http://mytoiletpapers.blogspot.com/).
I will not be dwelling on past experiences. I will simply be talking about this last telephone line I applied for that is currently unable to call out for non-payment, and that will soon be terminated by Singapore Telecom. This line has been in existence for slightly more than a year and a half. When I applied for it at Exeter Road, the customer service girl typed my name wrong. I noticed it but did not correct her mistake. It is wise not to correct involuntary mistakes. It takes 3 days for the service to be provided. I gave no one my tentatively reserved number. About 4 hours into the day when the service was provided, someone called to identify me using his StarHub mobile. He asked for me by my right name. He was just calling to identify me with the line. This is spy game I am getting used to dealing with. The difference is this time around there existed a mistake within a mistake. Not simply a case of my imagination running wild. Just by opening his big mouth, the intelligence operative gave his anonymity away. After mulling over the call for another few hours, I called Singapore Telecom to fish for leads. All I got was that it was hardly likely their contractor would use a StarHub number to check if my line was functioning. Of course I got crank calls later as is usually the case when I get a line. But I would not pick up incoming calls with no caller ID’s and the crank gave up after a while.
I later used the line to dial into StarHub 2 cents a minute to surf the www. By and by, I noticed that every time I dialed in, it takes 4 to 8 minutes during which the computer is busy with something before I can even get the webpage I wanted loaded. Every time I dialed in, DrWatson would tell me svchost.exe had experienced an error and needs to be restarted. Ctrl-V would not work after svchost.exe had an error. So I needed to do a reboot. Which means I cannot dial in if I want to copy and paste.
After finding unexplainable executables being downloaded and launching whenever I dialed into StarHub 2 cents a minute, and my Internet Explorer locked to dial the StarHub 2 cents a minute, I switched to using zapsurf 2.something cents a minute. Same thing happened with this other service. When I found 2 no extension files that had simple instructions to call the zapsurf server, I filed a police report (A/20040617/0122D) but the goons said no action would be taken.
To cut a long story short, I spent a lot of off-line time and on-line money looking for a solution around my ISP imposed limitations. I even called my computer manufacturer customer service to fish for ideas. Along the way I made some bad assumptions. Then I met an ex-colleague I had not seen or talked to for over 14 years that tried to confirm my wrong assumptions. I never discussed about the bad assumptions to anyone except the computer manufacturer customer service, and then only over the line. How did the ex-SPH ex-colleague know what I was talking about over the phone? How did he become used as an intelligence operative asking for my computer on the pretext of helping out an ex-colleague? How was he identified as an ex-colleague that I would perhaps trust? Who came up with this fucking stupid spy game? How did the local spy agency come to use poorly trained intelligence operatives that give themselves away at every opportunity? Did they come to the conclusion that with control over the technology infrastructure, they do not need to invest in more professionally trained spies? How can Osama possibly find Nathan ex-henchmen challenging opponents?
It took me a year before I found the solution around my ISP imposed limitations, and with costs piling up from non-payment and no crank calls, I gave up my caller ID service. It takes 3 days for the service to de-activate. No talking is needed. All one does is punch phone buttons. No point in suspecting parabolic antennae aimed at me. No need to suspect planted bugs. No sense to imagine phone-taps. On the day it was de-activated, the crank knew and was happy to let me know that he knew.
When the AcidFlask affair blew-up, I took tentative steps towards blogging. Got a call by a very furtive ‘headhunter’ enquiring about my status as an Insurance Agent and whether I got my CPA. He got nothing that he did not already know. I do not need their goodwill for any sort of practice permit. I was jobless. This ‘headhunter’ asked for me by the name in the phone book. I do not send resumes with the wrong name when I apply for jobs by email. It takes a stupid spy to give the game away every time he opens his mouth. Did Nathan leave behind such a stupid legacy? An inept local spy agency? How can Osama possibly want to target Singapore?
On the stroke of midnight separating 25th and 26th of July 2005, I could no longer make outgoing calls. Incoming was still possible. The crank called many times over the next few days to let me know that he knew. I tried to make a police report. The goons told me that crank calls are a civil matter. I have never done anything, political or subversive, that to my knowledge, would persuade the authorities to have me monitored. Nor to be given full marks by IMH for not having friends, be he man, woman or animal. Nor for not desiring to poke Huang Na who had yet to develop breasts. How can Took Leng How be sane and me insane? I cannot imagine how Nathan got his COE. Why would Osama possibly want to target Singapore? Nat’han worthy of a challenge. So rest easy.I have not changed my NRIC address since mid 1996. SSG Alan Tam of Division A in year 2000 threatened to charge me. I gave him the go-ahead if it could advance his career. He then backtracked that without a complainant, he could not charge. Can you believe this? I have to provide the complainant as well. Any one care to complain?


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